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So Italian was a bust.

Here's what went down.

I went to class early Thursday morning, sitting pretty close to the front so I wouldn't miss anything, and waited patiently for the professor.

After a few minutes of thumb-twiddling, she finally arrived, shutting the door firmly behind her. And without a moment's hesitation she turned to us, a wide grin taped to her face, and said:

(Italian people talk with their hands.)

It was all in Italian. Now, I could follow a few buzz words scattered here and there, but when you take away verb tense and a 1st grade vocabulary, language loses its luster and, frankly, its meaning.

But I decided to stick it out, so as not to make a scene by leaving 5 minutes into class (since my brilliant idea of sitting up front had thus placed me very far from the door).

My plan was going swimmingly until about 38 minutes in when I noticed she had started going down the rows of students asking them very specific questions about very specific things. Things that I can't repeat here because I don't know what they were. So I decided my initial efforts to thwart confrontation were futile. I would have to make a break for it. But when?

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In my life, more often than not, I prefer to live cautiously.

To assess risk and consequences before taking immediate action.

Sometimes it's boring, yes.

But I find that things usually work out for me.

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This was not one of those times.

There would be no "waiting for the opportune moment."

Once I had decided that "No, you know what? No, this is not for me. I have no idea what's happening, and everyone in here is gonna figure that out real soon and then they might throw stuff at me like pencils or rocks or croissants," I knew I had to leave.

So I drew my things together, stood up with confidence, avoided eye contact with slightly less confidence, and marched out of the room.

(Marched is strong. Crept maybe?)

Yes. Crept.

Déjà vu

*whew*

I'm more exhausted than a tailpipe.

It has been a very busy few days. Let me illustrate it for you with words:

Classes started on Monday, so that's been pretty eventful. I actually think I almost have my timetable sorted. First try, suckers.

The proven success of my first-draft schedule all depends on an agreeable tomorrow. I decided, for reasons of scheduling and hate, to discontinue my efforts in mastering beginner's Portuguese. Instead I thought it would be fun to rekindle an old flame. Italian. (I mean, it always got in my way when I was trying to speak Portuguese anyway, so I must have retained something.) Unfortunately, at the University of Nice, you can't take Spanish, English, or Italian as a beginner. So I will have to hone the powers that be and pretend I know more than I do.

"It works every time" is something I hope to be able to say on Friday.

POTENTIAL SCHEDULE

1. Portugais (Portuguese)

-Please, and no thank you.

1. Langue Française (French Language/Grammar)

-Powerpoint. Nuff said.

2. Littérature Comparée 2 (Comparative Literature)

-This will be a struggle. The prof was impossible to follow. She just talked and talked and talked. But it's fairy tales. Quite the toss-up.

3. Anglais-Traduction (English Translation)

-French/English translation class. 90% Canadian. 1% American. I am the 1%.

Oh...wait...

4. Morpho-phonologie (Morpho-phonology?)

-this is fancy-talk for "sounds."

5. Syntaxe (Syntax)

-This professor made some strange analogies. She danced around the point so much I almost told her she was on the hot tamale train (obscure reference).

6. Italien (Italian)

-I don't know why I'm translating these course titles for you anymore.

7. Pratique de l'acteur (Acting)

-Aw yeah. Here we go.

OH! Allllso, if I successfully prove my Italian is more than unsatisfactory, I will officially have four-day weekends ALL THE TIME! NO CLASS ON FRIDAY OR MONDAY! That would give me all the joy of the universe!

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Molly, this is your life:

Monday:

Okay, so I went to Portuguese. Because I am a forgiving life partner, and I always give second chances. But, Portuguese, loving you is difficult for me. Maybe the timing just isn't right. Maybe in another life we could have been something. But the way things are right now, I just don't see us being anything more than friends who pretend to take an important call when we see each other on the street. I hope you'll understand. And I assume you will, as I have a feeling you don't like me much either.

Sincerely, a Defeated Polyglot

That night I went with Zara and the exchange student activity group to see The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, or Millenium: The Men Who Didn't Like Women as the French title so nearly translated it. I had wanted to read the book beforehand, but sometimes these things happen. Plus I assumed it would be in French and I wouldn't understand it anyway. But it was in English. And it was graphic. If you are squeamish, you will squeam.

Tuesday:

I had 2 classes. Grammar and fairy tales. And I knew people in both, so that's good.

This one's for the foodies--

Tuesday night I went over to my friend Angela's flat with Zara, Ricki, and Camille, and we all brought whatever food and wine we had and cooked a very well balanced meal of fancy salad and potato omelets! Then for dessert, Angela melted some dark chocolate and poured it over sliced bananas. SO GOOD.

Wednesday:

And this is why I'm exhausted. 3 classes. 9-4:30 non-stop.

Also when I was sitting in my Syntaxe class waiting for it to start, a girl walked in and sat next to me and started talking to me. And guess what, avid readers! She was American! Arizonan to be precise! Flagstaffian to be preciser! Also she's with the same exchange program as me! And she said there are a few other Americans too! I AM NOT ALONE! And neither is she. She brought her husband and two sons with her to Nice. All I brought was The Hobbit.

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I apologize for forcing all of you to be grown-ups and read something without pictures. I promise to do better next time.

Amitiés :)

UPDATE: Did anyone else read "Powerpoint. Nuff said." as "Powerpuff?" Yeah, me neither.

UPDATE: I feel bad for the lack of pictures. Here. This is me right now.

Jello limbs

UPDATE: I also got all my mom's pictures from our Christmas trip. So I might add some new ones to those posts in the near future.

UPDATE: ALSO! The girls and I bought tickets to see Cabaret on the 5th!

Yogging

Here's a shocking piece of information:

My plans from this weekend didn't exactly pan out the way I'd documented them previously. But I've found that to be very typical for me.

So I'm not too worried about it.

On Saturday I played it like Frankie and relaxed. So I didn't do as much exploring as I had wanted, but instead I took my book down to the beach and read on one of the benches nearby. Unfortunately, it didn't last very long as my yearning to be that lady from Eat, Pray, Love was overpowered by my intense regret from having forgotten my scarf and my surprise at how uncomfortable benches are.

So I'll have to try that again later when it gets a little warmer.

Then on Sunday, I was a big brave dog and decided to attempt a feat which I have only attempted one other time since arriving in France. Jogging.
(Or . . . it might be "yogging" with a soft j. I'm not sure.)

Regardless, my "run" quickly devolved into a walk/run of sorts, causing me to repeatedly look like I was hitting some sort of Super Mario energy boost. But I actually made it to the end of the bus route behind my residence (which I failed to do the last time), and then all the way back down. It took me an hour. I already wish my ankles were made out of jello, so I could eat the pain away.

But I will survive! I will survive! As long as I know how to love I mnggh ehh seomf alive. I've got all my something something. I have something love and give. I will survive! I will survive! Hey hey!

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ALSO, when I went to the kitchen to cook dinner later, I found a plate, a bowl, and a cup that someone was giving away! So I took them! (For good reason. My plastic plates that I bought at a euro store haven't been holding up very well. Who would've known? Also I don't have cups.) So now I have fancy shmancy ceramic dishes! Just like in the movies! Plus, it's the exact same weird under-ripe pea color as my plastic plates! It's "Plate: the Sequel."

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School starts tomorrow. And I still don't know what classes I'm taking. This would never stand at UT.

Amitiés :)

UPDATE:

Hermit-Be-Gone

This song most aptly expresses how I feel right now.

Especially the tango part

After 3 long grueling weeks of exams, I have finally freed myself of the first semester fly paper, and I'm SO excited to start again fresh this semester.

Unfortunately, this clean break is a brief one, as classes start again on Monday. (Exams after Christmas are genuinely less satisfying.)

After these past three weeks, I can feel my body deteriorating right before my eyes from a lack of social interaction and vitamin D. But since most of my friends have either left Nice for good or are traveling elsewhere, I'll have to stick to remedying the latter.

A BRIEF INTERLUDE:
I want to take this moment and extend my apologies to those I've neglected these past few weeks (ie. everyone I've ever known ever). Exams sort of put me in a funk. A funky funk that causes me to shut myself away, beyond the reaches of civilized society where I must live off the land and use my computer by candlelight, until the exams are over. Unfortunately for us, these exams have lasted 3 weeks, thus extending my STOP . . . hermit-time. Again, if you have felt in any way forgotten or abandoned these past few weeks, know that you're not alone. I've neglected everyone. I'm just that good.

Now that that's out of the way, I've decided to make the most of my free weekend. So, tomorrow I'm getting up early (fingers crossed) to explore parts of Nice I haven't seen yet, like some of the museums, the Russian church, maybe read some of my book, etc etc. Grown up girly stuff.

Then on Sunday I'm gonna try and get up to the mountains! Like in the skiing areas! I'm not actually going to ski since I'll be alone, and that just seems silly. But it's really inexpensive to get up there, and since I LOVE the mountains so much, I thought it would be fun! And it shall be fun. It shall be.

So hopefully there will be more exciting stories from that. But, for now, the most exciting thing I have to report is the poached egg I made for lunch.

Delicious.

Amitiés :)

Adventures in Introspection

My common sense is a pushover.

He tries to reason with me, but I always get the best of him. Every time.

A few days ago I decided my purpose in life was to go for a hike, and if I didn't do it immediately I would implode. Unfortunately, there's only one hiking trail close by that I know of. I knew what I was getting myself into. But did that stop me? No way, Monet.

Being the loving abstract idea that he is, my common sense popped in for a visit.

Well, I showed my common sense. I showed him that my pride is a lot stronger than my failing limbs and depreciated endurance level.

To reward myself, I bought some grapes from the grocery store, walked up to the cathedral, and sat outside to read my book and look pensive. But then it got really cold. And the bus back to Nice wasn't coming for another hour. So I snuck into the cathedral for warmth and continued reading in there. It's okay though. The book I was reading was really thick, so it kind of looked like the Bible.

Amitiés :)

Passport to Paris 2: Rise of the Venetians

Let us continue lest we forget everything that happened over Christmas break.

Let's see, where were we? Ahh yes. The train ride.

So we had booked an overnight sleepy train ride on Christmas Eve to go from Paris all the way to Venice. (Which is in Italy, for those of you without a map. You know who you are.)

Our sleeper cabin was a sardine tin built for six, and we were prepared for that. When we got there though, there wasn't anyone else in the room. Just us! We were so excited, it was as if you'd told us we were on the Hogwarts Express. (Okay maybe not the Hogwarts Express. I would have exploded from a heart attack of happiness. Maybe more like the Polar Express. But definitely not the Orient Express. But I digress express.) Still, it was nice to be able to talk freely and take up multiple seats.

When we finally pulled out the beds, it was kind of a bummer for the person on the very bottom. There were these armrest things that stuck into the laying-down space making it, in my opinion, impossible to sleep without sawing your ribs off.

This is not a dramatic representation.

But, thankfully, we didn't have cabin buddies, so my mom just slept in the middle bed on the other side. What luck.

We didn't, however, use the comforters or pillows provided because the comforters had long black hairs on them and the pillows looked like they'd been beaten with an ugly stick. So we stuffed our coats into the pillow cases and just used the shrink-wrapped sheets we were given for warmth. It was fine though because the room was pretty hot anyway.

Then it was bedtime.

So we turned off the light and started going to sleep. But it was reeeally hot in the cabin, so after about 15 minutes of squirming, I asked:

"Hey. Would it be inappropriate if I took my tights off?"

"No, go ahead," said her mother knowingly.

I'm not even kidding, you guys, mere seconds after I took off my tights, there was a knock on the door. It was the conductor. He had a new roommate for us.

Well, idn't that special . . .

The French woman seemed to accommodate fairly quickly. After relocating the six hairy comforters and countless misfit pillows that we'd piled on her bed, she went to sleep. And I soon followed.

The rest of the night is kind of fuzzy, but I do have snippets of preserved memories.

". . . Molly, look at the mountains. We're in Switzerland."
"mnnggggrrhhhh . . ."
"Alright then . . ."

. . . WHY IS IT SO COLD IN HERE????????????? . . .

. . . I'M NOT KIDDING. WHAT HAPPENED?????? . . .

". . . Molly, help me turn the heat back on."
"Why doesn't it woooork???? OH GOD . . ."

. . . SOMEONE MURDERED THE THERMOSTAT . . .

". . . Molly, here's a hair comforter."
"I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE HAIR. GIMME."
"Just don't touch it . . ."

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Day 7

Good morning, sunshine.

The mountains had past. The French lady was gone. And the temperature was back to normal.

(We still aren't really sure what happened to the heat. I'm 99% sure it was real life. Amy and my mom confirmed that.)

So that morning, all sleepy and groggy-eyed, we arrived in Venice! Venice is a very beautiful place. But I will say, it's about two rainy seasons away from joining the water-logged city of Atlantis at the bottom of the ocean. It is really fun though because everything is a boat. Like they have bus boats and police officer boats and fire engine boats (which seems kind of counter intuitive) and even little taxi boats. Precious. So we took a bus boat to our hotel while, at the same time, getting some very nice views of the city.

The pictures are crooked because Venice is crooked.

I am a fantastic photographer.

Then we walked to our hotel but couldn't check in until 2:30, so we left our bags and explored a little.

San Marco Cathedral--One is silver and the other gold.

Just kidding. Everything is gold.

4, count them, 4 taxis full of Asian tourists
(presumably together)

After lunch, we headed back to the hotel to check in. Then a sprightly but surprisingly strong little man popped in to show us to our "room," grabbed two of our suitcases, and walked us briskly to an entirely different hotel about 2-3 blocks away. I'm still confused as to what happened exactly. But we did finally get to our room which was essentially a double room with another bed squeezed into it.

Please note the headboard.

I'm so artsy I can't even stand it.

Oh we also walked into a couple of the churches before lunch and sat in on some of the Christmas masses which were, obviously, entirely in Italian. (Oh yeah it's Christmas, did I forget to mention that?) I actually understood some of the words, which was shocking, but I can say with 100% certainty that this was not the most cryptic mass I've ever been to . . .

We wandered around Venice some more that night before dinner. (There's not a whole lot to do in Venice, so wandering is pretty much your only option.)

Christmas!

Then we trekked back to the room where we watched a very flamboyant Italian wedding planner show thing before falling asleep.

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Day 8

Took the bus boat back to the train station and grabbed a train to Florence!

Fancy gondolas and not so fancy bus boat stops

Arrivederci Venice!

NOW ON TO FLORENCE!!

Florence is SO fantastic. There's so much art and history stuff everywhere, and it's all so interesting! Amy studied there 3 years ago, so she was a very good tour guide for the 2 days we were there. So good, in fact, that I put absolutely all my trust in her and just went with it. Thus, I have no idea what we did. (Chronologically speaking) But thankfully I have a list of our adventures that my mom sent me. I will be using that exclusively.

Okay so there are a LOT of pictures from Florence. I've narrowed it down about as much as I can without leaving anything particularly special out. Here goes.

Let's just go through some of the key monuments, for all you travel-lovers out there.

1. The Duomo

The history of the Duomo is SUPER interesting, but also very intricate and detailed. So I won't get into that now. But maybe you should look it up. It's very worth it. Trust me. Start with this golden door. Just type in "Ghiberti Brunelleschi and competition" and you'll find something I'm sure.

2. Mooooving right along, to numero due--Orsanmichele. This is another church in Florence with very high ceilings and large columns.

The view from the third floor was spectacular.

Interesting lil factoid: Orsanmichele used to be a granary.

3. Here are some other random pictures that don't "deserve" their own block of text. They didn't do anything wrong, I just really love montages!

San Lorenzo

Palazzo de Medici and the de Medici crest

Palazzo Vecchio--See those little windows at the top of the main building?
This palace is so old, those windows were used to pour boiling oil
on invading troops. Awesome.

Inside, so preety

A BRIEF INTERLUDE . . .

I don't know if you at home have noticed, but my hair has been growing fiercely and uncontrollably for the past couple months. Now, this doesn't mean it's particularly long. No, for me, this just means it's been getting really droopy and scraggly and, frankly, it's murder to deal with.

Since Amy wanted her hair trimmed too, we decided to do something about it, so we bought some scissors from a 99 cent store (yes, they're glittery), and started our own little hair salon in the bathroom. I think we might have some before and after shots? Yes. Yes we do.

So, before . . .

Aaaaand after!

Such an improvement, dahling.

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Day 9

We went to the Bargello in the morning, which if I were an English major I would tell you that:

the Bargello : the Uffizi :: the Musée d'Orsay : the Louvre

But an English major I am not, so I'll just tell you that the Uffizi is overrated and it's not worth waiting out in the cold when you don't even know if you'll get to go in and the Bargello is right over there and it's super awesome and you should go to it instead because they have Donatello's "David" which in my opinion is just as impressive as Michelangelo's "David" and you can even see a COPY of Michelangelo's "David" right outside for free.

Go to the Bargello. You won't be disappointed.

So we went to the Bargello, HAD SO MUCH FUN THERE, and then went for authentic Italian gelato at Amy's favorite gelateria, Grom.

Grom is yommy.

We then walked to San Lorenzo for the open air market which was mega extensive.

At the market, my mom bought a leather belt from one of the vendors. He was so nice, and when we went to pay he offered to lower the price since we didn't try and bargain. Maybe he was lying. Maybe he wasn't. I don't know. But I feel good about it.

Then we went for naps.

 My life consists of naps and the time between naps.

We then walked to Santa Croce, yet another church, but this one is especially noteworthy as it is the resting place of many celebrated people like Galileo, Michelangelo, Macchiavelli, and Dante!

Then later that night we passed yet again through the Piazza de la Signoria, where the famous statue replicas are. Take that, Uffizi. Who needs ya when we have . . . outside David!

Then over the Ponte Vecchio . . .

For a lovely dinner on the other side. How quaint.

Then, with our bellies full of wine and pasta, we hiked up Mount Everest for a very nice view of the nighttime Florence skyline.

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Day 10

The last full day. Again this was sort of a day of transition. We woke up and went to the train station to go back to Nice in the morning. (And Amy wasn't feeling well.)

When we boarded the train, there was some confusion with our tickets. (Confusion amongst the three of us. No one else was involved in this confusion.) We knew we had to change trains a couple times, but our tickets didn't say where. So I volunteered to go out of the train and see if I could ask someone or figure it out from a sign somewhere. T minus 10 minutes til the train left.

So I was over looking at the sign that said where our train was stopping when I heard a very little noise. Almost like a little flea inside my ear whispering "Hey . . . Molly . . . Molly . . ." I looked up and what did I see? My panic-stricken mother was running toward me, screaming my name, and frantically waving me to get my butt back on that train.

I didn't even stop for a second to think. I wasn't even thinking anything. I just ran.

I ran and I ran and I ran faster than I've ever run before in my life.

I ran so fast I wasn't even a solid object anymore. But not really a liquid either. Probably more of a plasma. I ran so fast I was a plasma.

When I got back to my seat, I looked down at my phone. 3 minutes. I'd been gone for 3 minutes.

Really?! (This has been Really?! with Seth and Molly.)

But to their credit I probably looked really confused and not like I was in a hurry to get back on the train any time soon. I think I just have that "look" about me.

We finally got to the hotel, and settled in for the night.

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Day 11

I took them to the airport in the morning, and we said our tearful goodbyes. 

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All in all, it was a really fantastic trip. And I hope reading about it makes you feel at least a little bit like maybe you were there too. But now, I'm off to form some new adventures. Maybe some that don't necessitate such long blog entries.
For they are tiresome.

You guys are super.

Amitiés :)